Above it all,
I am a coward.
And I don’t mean it because the dark makes me breathless
Or because my brain conjures up
A thousand and one ways I could die.
I’m a coward because I cannot face my flaws.
I’m terrified of losing people
And because of that I keep them at arms-length.
I don’t like being reminded of my flaws,
I don’t like having flaws.
I don’t like second and triple and octuplet guessing my every move,
And hurting people because of that.
I’m a coward because I hurt you
Because even now I can’t explain why
Can’t talk about how tight my chest gets
How stupid I am for forgetting it all.
And I can’t even say I’m sorry.