Posted in Secondary Sundays

SS: For You.

I wanted to talk about you. I wanted to talk about who you are and who you were. That’s what is about to happen. Just me. Talking.

I am going to talk about you and not about me or about anyone else.

I think I, at least, owe you that.

This isn’t a story. Don’t worry there will be more.

This is a one sided conversation.

Did you like the story from before? The one after I… went too far with the lies?

I hope you did. I really tried for that one but you should know by now that I am horrible at making up stories. I am better at relaying them to you.

It’s kind of creepy, isn’t it? Me, sharing people’s private thoughts and lives?

Except for Mr. Fluffkins III, I totally made that up. I don’t even know your cat’s name! I know who you were so I think you might be a person who calls their cat something as ridiculous as that. And to be honest if I were a cat and was named to be the third of something I’d be concerned about what happened to the rest of my kin.

I know you don’t like beginnings so you always act like you’re in the middle of something. People used to hate that, remember? You were altogether too familiar and too distant.

You were always two contradicting things at the same time. I was scared I would never understand you.

And then you left, and then I left.

We both left.

Though by the time I left there wasn’t much left of what it had been.

Remember the About Me? That wasn’t about me at all.

I made that up. I mean, there is someone out there who feels all that and I borrowed their memories to talk to you like I didn’t know you, like my life and your life were completely unrelated to one another. I needed to interest you in something that you wouldn’t understand otherwise.

I remember that you too wanted to die after it all happened.

I wanted to die too. But unlike you, I didn’t forget.

I couldn’t forget.

I saw you many times after that, always with a different look in your face, and I laughed. I laughed because it’s the only thing people can do not to cry at life’s injustice.

I cannot cry because I am being observed the same way you’re being observed.

I wish Daisy had been more careful. Oh, don’t worry she is fine. She just got involved… with the wrong person.

He won’t ever call, you know that right? She knows that, but she won’t admit it.

She could move on and make things easier for the person observing you guys but she won’t. She wants her life to be just like the movies, but I’m afraid that if she doesn’t stop her constant search she’s going to end up in the wrong genre.

I’m sorry. I promised this would be about you. For you.

I guess I was able to keep the last part.

You don’t remember me. You may not even remember half the things I want to tell you.

But that’s okay. Not everyone remembers everyone in their lives.

That’d be weird.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help you. I’m sorry I didn’t want to help you. I’m sorry I thought this would be easier this way.

It is easier, but also complicated.

I wish things weren’t so complicated for you.

you left the fridge door open the other day. Thankfully your cat bumped into the door and closed it before the food could spoil or something bad could happen, like that time you forgot to turn the stove off.

That was a disaster.

I know you’ve been having thoughts lately.

Please stop.

Everything’s fine.

Everyone’s fine.

We are all fine.

Stop wondering about the past you cannot remember.

Just… be the way you’ve always been. Act like you are in the middle of the whole thing. Who cares about the beginning and the future when you are already busy living through a story.

Please, live through this story.

Please.

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Author:

22 year old blogger trying to get into the actual habit of writing. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Really, I haven't been able to keep a blog in years.

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